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 Pregnancy & Me: Part 3

A Journey...

"Making the decision to have a child - it is momentus. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body." - Elizabeth Stone

    Sometime in 2019 I made up my mind to have my last child. I said, "Next year I'll do it" then the global pandemic hit and I was definitely not going in or near a hospital so my plan was delayed a bit, no biggie! Fast forward to 2021, I said it again, "Next year I'll do it". After talking it through with J, he got onboard my runaway train and I stopped my birth control regimen in February of 2021. Call it intuition, but I just knew I was pregnant from July lol but I didn't take a hpt (pictured above) until 1st September 2021 that confirmed it.

The first trimester was so rough. We were fully engaged in virtual teaching👩🏾‍💻 👩🏾‍🏫and while I taught, gave it my all, I didn't like it lol. I remember during one particular class I turned my camera off, ran to the bathroom with my phone and was bringing up my insides😫. I'd unmute and say "great job" to the students then mute again and go back throwing up 🤮. Morning sickness definitely lasted more than the mornings. Then worst of all, my dad was in hospital from 24th August and passed away from complications of COVID-19 one week after I took the hpt so I never got the chance to tell him I was pregnant as we could not visit him in the hospital and I figured I'd just tell him when he gets back home...I was devasted to say the least, we all were.

👩‍❤️‍👨

16th October 2021, a day before my bday. At this point,  I only told my immediate circle that I was expecting.

💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛💛

Nice strong heart beat 💓 on the doppler ultrasound. My 👨🏾‍⚕️OB-GYN is Dr. Richard Braham at the Medi Center on Prince Charles Drive, Nassau, Bahamas. He delivered both of my babies.

Once I was safely past the first trimester then we decided to make it known that we were expecting. Like, I really couldn't conceal it any longer anyways because my tummy started to show at 5 months 🤰🏾

I love reasearching and I did just that to find a unique way to announcement my pregnancy that really spoke to vibe. My sister, Donnette, came through 💯with the concept I wanted. The pictures came out great!

Our Pregnancy Announcement Photos 📷 😍

Me at 6 months into the journey.

 

7 Months along

 

I tried to stay as active as I possibly could. At 7 months, my sister and I along with my 8 year old son Liam, went to tour Clifton Heritage National Park. Carrying the extra load coupled with wearing a mask almost daily was taxing on my breathing. I enjoyed any opportunity to be outside without a mask to breathe freely. A Saturday well spent learning and exploring.

I went swimming a few times during the journey.

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8 months in I did my gender reveal and maternity shoot in one. Once again, thanks to my sister Donnette, for her ability to execute my vision perfectly. I knew what I wanted but wasn't exactly sure how to pull it off. I explained it to her and she was like "I got you". Super grateful and extremely satisfied with the outcome. 

Here's a look at my gender reveal & maternity shoot

               

I am officially a boy mom👦👦👦 

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A co-worker and I both gave birth to baby boys in the same month so our department had a baby shower for us before we left for maternity leave. Such a sweet sentiment, I truly enjoyed it.

 

I worked up to 11 days before giving birth, my coworkers are a joy to work with. I was thoroughly surprised on my last day at work before my maternity leave with gifts, food & drinks, music, laughs and great memories. I couldn't have asked for a better send off. I appreciate them all so much 😊.

My nine months came and went and I am beyond grateful for a healthy, safe pregnancy and delivery experience amidst a global pandemic. 

The medical professionals that tended to us were just that, professional. They made MY stay in PMH easy on my body and mind. I had such mix thoughts and feelings going into the hospital from what was in the news and media but my doctor assured me that baby and I would be ok and not to dwell on those things. I prayed and my family & friends prayed for us to get home safely and we did. God is good 🙌🏾.

Pregnancy in itself is a lot to deal with without having to worry about COVID 19. When I saw my son's little face, I was still trying to catch myself but, it was all worth it. He was here, all 7lbs 8oz of him, we were both alive and well and we went home the next day🤱🏿. Now, here we are 8 months later with my little family of 5 still all well, thriving and happy 👩🏿‍🤝‍👨🏽👦🏽🧒🏽👶🏽👣.

(Both photo sessions 👆🏾were taken by Donnette😊) 

#donnellsworld #girlintheyellowsweater #boymom #pregnancyjourney 

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Coping, Healing, Mothering & Living after the loss of a child

No child comes with a manual and being someone's mom and a first time parent can be scary when you don't know what to expect.

I had my first child, a baby girl 👶, when I was 20 years old. I was in college at the time and I found a balance between mothering and schooling that worked for me. With the help of those in my circle I was able to continue attending college without having to take a semester off or drop out.

6th Februaruary 2010 at 2:36am, I gave birth to her via C-Section at PMH 🏥. 

She was named and christened *Charis Ashley Major*. 👼 The exciement and joy was through the roof.

During the fourteen (14) months that she was with us, Charis was that toddler with a big bubbly personality.

 

    

My laptop was obviously her laptop lol

Charis was the first grand child to her paternal grandmother and the first great grand child to her paternal great grandmother. She was also the first granddaughter to my mom. Everyone who met her, fell in love with her. Every day I think about her and I always say I wish I'd taken more pictures, recorded more videos, taken her to more places and made more memories. The memories I have of her and with her will never fade.

                    Charis at Christmas 2010

 

😂😂😂 We even slept alike.

 

Charis and Great-grammy "Mama Lisha"

Some of my favorite pics of Charis

This white watch lol I loved it and it's still in my jewelry box!!!

                       ✨✨Cha-Cha Bella✨✨

 

       She loved her Elmo

    Every girl should wear pearls

 

     Her first carnival 2010

💗

Living with the loss of a child, regardless of how old the child was, is hard. I can't and won't compare my situation to another parent but what I do know is that this feeling is something I battle EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. 

No exaggeration, I think about her every day, be it something that reminds me of her, whenever I drive pass the cemetary where she's buried or just a random thought of her. It has gotten easier over the years and I've learned to live with it and not let it overcome me. I spent many days and nights praying and since prayers don't expire, I'm sure all of the prayers my family prayed to God on my behalf are still keeping me strong to this very moment.

I remember the day she died like it happened today, it makes me sad still but I have the strength to keep moving. I called the hospital that morning letting them know I would be going to church and that I'd come to the hospital afterwards. The nurse encouraged me to go and said church would do me good to calm me down so I went. My dad was driving me that day and my aunt called us for dinner before going to the hospital. While I was eating I could barely chew. I could remember the strange feeling in my gut. Moments later I got a call from the nurse saying they needed me ASAP. My heart sank. When I got there the doctor told me that her heart stopped beating at 3:47pm. I was escorted to the waiting room awaiting further word. At 4:47pm the code was called and that was it. She was gone. My baby was gone. Gone too soon. 

The doctor came in the room, "I'm sorry mummy, baby has died" he turned and walked away. I was so numb I couldn't even cry. 

My grandfather passed away 8 days prior to her passing. My dad and aunts were all there and it was like the weight of the world was literally on my neck! April 17th 2011 was a day like none other and the following days were a blur.

 

At Charis' funeral 29th April 2011

 

At Granddaddy's funeral 30th April 2011

At first, thinking about Charis made me cry, now thoughts of her make me smile and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Losing a loved one is a difficult time for anyone. A parent losing a young child, seeing that child in a coffin and being lowered into the ground is an outer-body experience that I wouldn't want anyone to experience.

I was given another chance to mother a child. Mothering after a loss is no easy feat still, it caused me to be super and overly protective of my son. I don't take any moment for granted.

If you have never lived through the loss of a child, please... please... please do not tell others how to grieve or mention what you would do if you were in their shoes. Give support, be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. There are no rules on how long to grieve however, there are ways to do it healthily. Do what works for you.

9 years later here I am, putting my feelings into words and I can honestly say I am stronger for having gone through what I went through. It helped to mold me into the individual that I am.

-Girl in the Yellow Sweater😘

#donnellsworld #girlintheyellowsweater #blogpost 

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